Isaiah 43

For several weeks after learning about Penny, sitting through the worship at church was hard. I would hide in a bathroom stall and bawl because I couldn't face it. Not that I couldn't face God. I needed God more than ever. But I couldn't face my own pain brought to the surface by the obvious presence of the Spirit.

One of my favorite hymns has always been Isaiah 43. God's reassurances are so clear, but so is the reality of human struggle. It's been a more than a month since this struggle began, and God is still with us. He has called us by name, we are His. 

But now, this is what the Lord says—

he who created you, Jacob,

he who formed you, Israel:

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;

I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

² 

When you pass through the waters,

    I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers,

    they will not sweep over you.

When you walk through the fire,

    you will not be burned;

    the flames will not set you ablaze.

³ 

For I am the Lord your God,

    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;

I give Egypt for your ransom,

    Cush and Seba in your stead.

⁴ 

Since you are precious and honored in my sight,

    and because I love you,

I will give people in exchange for you,

    nations in exchange for your life.

⁵ 

Do not be afraid, for I am with you;

    I will bring your children from the east

    and gather you from the west.

⁶ 

I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’

    and to the south, ‘Do not hold them back.’

Bring my sons from afar

    and my daughters from the ends of the earth—

⁷ 

everyone who is called by my name,

    whom I created for my glory,

    whom I formed and made.”

(Isaiah 43: 1-7)

Good News

Or at least not bad news. I was so tired of getting bad news every time I went to the OB.

We found out for sure this week that Penny did not inherit her chromosome trouble from us. We have normal karyotypes. That doesn't say much about her, but it does mean that future pregnancies don't have a higher risk of this happening again.

I also found out that the doctors are treating my pregnancy as a normal pregnancy. The midwife explained as best she could that since I am not at risk, and I seem to be proceeding normally, this isn't classified as an "at risk" pregnancy. It was good for me to hear this out loud. I can enjoy being pregnant more and worry less about waiting for more bad news.

We're still not sure what will happen to Penny after and during birth, but it's nice to have some good news in my pocket.

A Necklace

I just wanted to share a necklace that I had made. It's something I wanted to get done since we decided on our daughter's name.

Penny Rose.

Books & Movies

We recently took a trip up to North Carolina. It was so nice to spend some family time in the mountains, enjoy nature, some wonderful cool weather, and relax!

In the ultimate of God's wonderful nature and all it has to offer... is it awful that I want to talk about the shopping? I am such a girl.

We found a dream of a secondhand book store in town. In addition to finding a few Tolkien novels, and a copy of The Great Gatsby from the 1950s, we were lucky enough to find a World War II era parenting book. Like all first-time parents, we'll take advice from anywhere. I was surprised at how little advice has changed in the last sixty years. Although the book addresses concerns about raising a family in wartime and newfangled formula feeding, parental fears and priorities seems to have remained largely the same. How refreshing!

Check out the date: Copyright 1941!

In addition to our literary finds, we managed to find a video game store that carried secondhand DVDs. Now, as much as I love movies, DVDs can be expensive. As much as I adore Disney movies, I can't justify paying $25 for a single movie (Oh, Disney Vault, how you make my wallet sigh). My frugal self would rather go to Goodwill and pick up the same movie in VHS for $3. Anyway, at this little gem of a store, we were able to find Toy Story, Toy Story 2, Robin Hood: Men in Tights, Legally Blonde, and The Notebook for the price of one new Disney DVD.

Win? I think so.

Yard Sales

Sometimes it takes some digging, but I've found that yard sales usually have some gems worth investigating.

Now, I'm not the type to get up early on a Saturday and go looking for all the garage sales, researching what is of value and what is simply old junk. No, I'm the type that when I get out to do errands around 10am, I'll stop at the picked over yard sales in my neighborhood to see if there's anything worth having. I've been able to find some good movies, potted plants, and such that way.

Today, as my husband and I were getting ready to do errands, he noticed a yard sale down the road and we decided to investigate. Providence was on our side! In a box of fifty cent children's books, we found some of Dr. Seuss's greatest books. Yertle, Horton, Grinch, and Lorax all in pretty good condition and with original artwork.

We were thrilled to find these books, not only because we're looking to start a family, but also because these books are, well... classics! We both have childhood memories of reading these books over and over, loving Seuss's rhyme and rhythm. My husband still says that the Lorax doesn't sound right unless it's read in his father's voice.

I hope one day our kid's will feel the same way about these brilliant bits of literature.

Pizza

We love our pizza in this house. That is one of the things we figured we'd miss the most now that we've moved to gluten-free dining.

We did try Mellow Mushroom's gluten-free crust when we were travelling a few weeks ago. However, compared to Mellow's regular crusts, we were disappointed. Oh, it was edible enough. It was good, but it honestly only made us miss our lovely wheat crusts.

More than the pizza we get in restaurants, we were crestfallen that we would no longer be able to make our own favorite homemade crust. Not only did this recipe call for flour, but also Landshark beer. Neither of those are gluten free!

Today we discovered that Red Mill makes a gluten-free pizza mix. Wary though we still are about gluten-free products, we were pleasantly surprised with the outcome. We even substituted the warm water with warm gluten-free beer.

It might not be up to our usual pizza standards yet, but I think with a few adjustments, we'll get it. In the meantime, it's nice to know we don't have to give up all our favorite foods.

Hope

In church yesterday, a high school student shared Romans 5 with us. Romans is probably one of my favorite books in the Bible, and chapter 5 is definitely worth reading during a struggle. What struck me was verse 5.

...Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. (Romans 5:5)

Hope has been difficult for me to really accept in these last few weeks. Every time I think about the future and hope to meet my daughter, I feel shame for expecting the impossible. Every time I think about future pregnancies and hope for a healthy child, I feel shame as if I've already given up on this child.

I don't know what God has in store my my future and Penny's, but I have to trust that it is good, because it is from God.

It's okay for me to hope. God loves me. He loves my family. He won't disappoint. He may not give me the results or answers I want, but I can hope for the very best because He has planned the very best for me.

Hallelujah.

Little Joys

Little Penny has been kicking. It warms my heart every time I feel those little odd stretches. In a pregnancy that has been less than ideal, I'll take these little joys and treasure them. Even the fact that my stomach is beginning to grow makes me happy.

However this pregnancy progresses, I'll thank God for these little moments.