I Just Read: The Mark of the Lion Trilogy

I love Francine Rivers. I love this series. I honestly never tire of it. I can't tell you how many times I've read through this trilogy since my high school days.

This is the story of Hadassah, a first-century Christian Jew who becomes a slave in the home of a prominent Roman family. She is homely and timid, humble in faith. This is an era in which Christians are sent to the arena daily to be killed, and fear is keeping her from sharing her faith with those around her.

The family who buys her as a handmaid consists of four people. Julia is the youngest daughter and Hadassah's charge, spoiled, selfish and manipulative. Marcus is the oldest son, obsessed with earthly pleasures of women, money, and entertainment. Their parents are the mild mannered and gentle Phoebe, and the merchant with high expectations Decimus. The first two books focus on Hadassah and the Valerian family.

Finally, this is the story of Atretes, a German tribal leader captured by Roman troops from his homeland. He fights his captors, fights other men in the Roman arena, and finally fights integrating into Roman society. He is obstinate, stubborn, and loyal to his heritage as a Chatti tribesman. He spirals into despair as his gods fail to deliver him and he feels his old life and identity slip away over the years. His story is told in the first and third books.

Rivers handles the aging of these characters well. I love how believable it is that the girls start out as children and blossom into young women in very individual ways. Each has a spiritual journey that is their own. There is romance and intrigue. There is action and reflection. I still get excited as I read about each of Hadassah and Marcus's interactions and blossoming romance, and I sit on the edge of my seat as Julia spirals further into debauchery and Hadassah pulls her back. I squeal with delight as Atretes' relationship with Rizpah grows in the final book. It's a rare book that can still do that after nine years. (Wow, has it really been nine years since I was  a sophomore in high school? Wow...)

Mostly, this series is a story about the power of God. Rivers starts this series with one shy Christian girl and (without giving away the whole story) multiplies the number. The best part is that all of the credit for every impossible thing is given to God. Even though it is a work of fiction, The Mark of the Lion has a way of reminding me that God can take the darkest circumstances and turn them for His glory and our good.

If you haven't read it, do. It's not a difficult read, but it is a very gripping one.

You Are My Little Bird

Some good friends of ours just adopted a beautiful baby girl. We are so excited for them!

I remember my friend saying a long time ago how much she like Elizabeth Mitchell's You Are My Little Bird CD, and how she would base her daughter's room decor on the album cover. So I decided to make it her "Welcome" gift. Here's how I did it, if you ever want to make something similar.

I gathered up some 5" by 7" frames and chose the scrapbook paper I was going to use.

I printed out a few copies of the images I would use, and traced them with tracing paper.

The image cuts off, so I hand drew the rest of the child.

I made sure I knew where I was placing my figures before I did anything permanent. 

I traced the 5" by 7" block for each figure to be sure they would fit.

 I made sure that I only traced large color blocks, to save myself trouble cutting out pieces later.

I picked which scrapbook pages I wanted for each color block and overlaid the correct traced image. I cut each individual piece out with an Exacto knife. That's important - don't try to do it with scissors or anything like that. I've found that only an Exacto blade can really get those details.

Here's a while figure cut out, so you can kind of see how the pieces fit. 

Next, I had to cut my matte board to fit the frame. I just traced the placeholder that came with the frame. I cut a piece of pretty scrapbook paper the same way, because I didn't want a plain white background. I used an Exacto knife again to make these deep cuts, since I didn't have a matte cutter.

Finally we get to gluing. You could use a simple glue stick, but I prefer this multi-purpose spray adhesive by 3M. It dries clear, and gives a good permanent hold when dry that I don't think glue sticks will do. Don't even try Elmer's glue unless you want your paper to wrinkle.


Step one: Set up a clean space outside. Put down newspaper or cardboard or some kind of protective barrier, because if the spray gets on anything it is a pain to de-stick it.

Step two: Lay out your first piece upside down. I did my background first, as you will want to if you choose to have one. If you don't have a background, then you can start with any piece.

Step three: Spray it lightly. It won't take much adhesive to make the paper sticky.

These are the legs to one of the little girl figures.

Step four: Pick up the paper with clean hands by the edges and place it on the matte board where you want it. You can probably move it once or twice if you do it right away. Press it down from the middle outward to avoid trapped bubbles.

Keep doing that until all your pieces are stuck down. Be careful about touching and overlapping pieces; you'll want to plan those ahead of time to avoid unsightly gaps between pieces. Wait for them to dry...

Now all you have to do is put them in the frames!

So cute! I hope she likes it!

*I don't in any way own rights to Elizabeth Mitchell's music, or album artwork. I'm not being paid to promote 3M and these are all my own opinions. 

New Backsplash

Is anyone else the type of person who excitedly starts a project one day, and then six months later remembers they started it when they find the unassembled pieces tucked away in a drawer? I sure am. And I'm always equally excited when I find those pieces.

At some point last year I decided to make a backsplash for my kitchen. This week I rediscovered the tiles I bought in bags on a shelf somewhere. I thought, "oh, fun, new project!"

Up until this point, the space behind our sink was simply a painted wall, just waiting for some decoration.

So I gathered my tiles and got to work.

I got lucky at Home Depot to find these white tile sets. I didn't want to have to cut my own tile to make a pattern, but I didn't want to have a simple two-tone checker pattern either. These made it easy. The four pre-cut tiles came as a set, connected with mesh backing. Nifty, isn't it? All I had to do was fit my tiles into the spaces.

Once I had my pattern I measured and marked where the center of the wall (and thus the center of my backspash) should be. Then I slapped on my adhesive and pressed in the tiles.

I made sure the tiles were the way I wanted them and let them cure.

A few days later I added the grout. Here's a learning experience: I found my hands worked much better at applying the wet grout than the rubber float. Too much was falling off the float and into the sink (Oops). So, after cleaning the sink and taping up a newspaper liner to catch spills, I finished smooshing on the grout. The float came in handy for finishing up the details.

Before wiping it clean. After it was dry I sealed the grout.

Another learning experience: read the label on the bottle of caulk. It could save you having to make an extra trip to Home Depot to pick up a caulking gun because you didn't get one when you were there just the other day. Oops again.

I caulked around all the perimeter since I didn't get the tiles with a nice edge.

And it's done! I love having it in the kitchen. It pulls all the colors together, not to mention makes cleaning easier.

Thoughts on Grief

I'm surprised with how my grieving has gone. I thought it would be harder right away.

Maybe it's because we never brought her home. Maybe it's because our routines haven't been changed much by her absence. I'm not sure.

It's not that I don't miss her. I only had her for two days, but I still feel her absence at times. I look to where her crib should have been, or hear songs at church about Heaven and God's goodness, and my heart is heavy. When I went through her items I brought home from the hospital, I wept and wept. But on a daily basis, I feel a lot like I did before her birth.

I don't know how people go through tragedies like this without believing in God. What I mean is, the only thing that's given me so much peace with all that has happened is knowing that God is taking care of her, that she is whole, that His plan is right, and she is not suffering.

When I do miss her, I picture what her life would have been like had she lived. From the little we know about her physical condition, even without the breathing difficulties, I know it would have been hard to cope. For me, for her, for all of us. We have no idea what her quality of live could have been. But God did. In His infinite wisdom He chose to bring her home quickly. It's my loss. It's my pain. But THANK GOD it's not hers.

I Just Read: Gone with the Wind

I love books. The smell, the feel, the fun of immersing myself into someone else's world. Over the last few months I've needed a good book to get lost in, especially in all the doctor's waiting rooms. So I picked up Margaret Mitchell's Gone with the Wind.

It's a sweeping Southern classic that takes the reader from the start of the Civil War in Georgia through Reconstruction. Young Scarlett O'Hara is a selfish and proud oldest daughter of a plantation owner. When the war comes, her world is turned upside down and she feels she has only herself to rely on.

I thought Scarlett would be a difficult character to relate to, but Mitchell handled it beautifully. I thought I would get tired of Scarlett's selfish moaning and greedy decisions quickly, but for all 1400 pages I found myself absorbed in her story. Having seen the 1939 film version of this novel, I appreciated that the book showed more of Scarlett's rare tender side. Instead of thinking at every turn "how can anyone be so cruel?" I found myself understanding her choices, the plight she was in, and how trapped she felt by circumstances out of her control (although at other times I groaned at the poor decisions she made).

This is absolutely a novel for anyone, especially women, who have an interest in the history of the Civil War from the Southern perspective. History is often told by the victors, and this is a case in which the story is told from the losing side. It brings to life the struggle of the survivors to eat, to live, to provide, to find husbands, and to keep their cultural identity. Through Scarlett and Melanie, Scarlett's ever-tender sister-in-law, and Rhett, the teasing and sensual blockade runner, we feel the sacrifices that are made as people try to rebuild broken lives.

Mitchell said that this book is about people with "gumption" and I found myself agreeing in surprising ways. The cast is delightfully diverse in a way that few authors can truly capture. Throughout this book we can begin to define a person with gumption as not a singular type of person. A person with gumption can be conniving, proud, and motivated. Someone else with gumption can be confident, lazy, and comfortable. Yet another person with gumption can be quiet, demure, and steady. Or perhaps a person with gumption is someone who says what they think to the people who have power over them.

I'd definitely recommend reading this book. I could go on a long time expounding on the book's overt racism, the growth versus steadfastness of the characters, the historical accuracy, and how the characters are so loved and hated over time, but I truly think you ought to read it and draw your own conclusions. At many times heavy, and at other times over-the-top dramatic, it is always engaging.

Kaylee and Helo

It's good to be home. 

Between traveling for Thanksgiving and a long hospital stay, my husband and I were away from home for almost two weeks. Fortunately, my parents were more than willing to take care of our two cats. 

Helo, our big boy

Kaylee, our sweet girl

Kaylee and Helo are three years old now, so they're pretty self-sufficient. But even they felt our long absence. It was nice to get home and see how they followed us from room to room, not leaving us alone for fear that we'd be quickly gone again. They love their humans. And they're a comfort to me. 

We got them when they were just kittens, early in our marriage when I began to get the maternal-feeling bug, but we weren't ready to start a family yet. Now, after all that's happened, there is a void in our family where our daughter was supposed to be. There's no way our pets will even begin to fill her space, but it's nice to have somewhere to put those maternal feelings. 

Penelope Rose Stanley

This has been the hardest week in my life.

Early Monday morning, the 26th of November, I went to the emergency room with severe upper stomach pain. I'd had the same pain the previous Friday night, but this time it wasn't getting better. When I got there, the doctors said I had developed preeclampsia, and Penny had to be delivered as soon as possible. Not only that, but I had gotten HELLP disease, where my platelet count was falling and my liver enzymes were elevating at alarming rates.

At 10am on Monday November 26, 2012, Penelope Rose Stanley was born by C-section. She was 2 lb 10 oz, 15 inches long, and 34 weeks 6 days along.

She was beautiful.

They let me see her and kiss her before they took her and my husband to the NICU.

I don't remember much of that day. I hadn't slept since Sunday night and it was quickly becoming Tuesday. I remember seeing her briefly in her incubator as I was brought to my room from recovery. She had a breathing tube in her mouth and a feeding tube in her belly. But she was there.

On Tuesday, I was transferred to the Women's ICU, because my HELLP disease wasn't getting better. All I wanted to do was see my daughter. I was finally able to around 3:30pm, and again at 10pm. I got to hold her tiny hand, and she gripped my fingers. Those were precious moments.

Early Wednesday morning, we recieved a call from the NICU saying Penny'd had a rough night. She wasn't doing well and was on full oxygen. There wasn't much else they could do for her.

This was about to be a very long day.

Our families were in town, doing all they could, being there for us, supporting us, loving us. They were present when we had little Penny baptized by our pastors and a good friend. It was such a special moment. We know that baptism doesn't save anyone, but we wanted to claim that covenant promise for our little two-day-old daughter.

That evening, with heavy hearts, we gathered around little Penelope. My parents, my in-laws, and my sister in law surrounded my little family of three with love and tears. The nurses took Penny out of the incubator for the first time and I got to hold her. Oh! She was so small, so sweet, my little girl. We each got to hold her, hug her, touch her, love on her.

Then she was placed back in my arms. The nurses tenderly removed her monitors and tubes. Finally they took the respirator from her mouth.

Penny passed on at 9:15pm, Wednesday November 28, 2012, as her daddy sang "Come Thou Fount" to her.

I was the first and last person to kiss her.

We wept. I kept holding her, watching her. I knew she was gone, that her suffering was over. Ours is just beginning. How does someone know how much time is enough time to say goodbye? Is there ever enough?
I held her for a long time, trying to let go, trying to have that courage to know I'd never hold her again.

We cried. We prayed. We thanked God for the two and a half days He'd given us with our little girl. We wouldn't had exchanged them or changed them for anything.

Eventually I did let her go. I'm still not sure how. But I'm glad I took the time with her I did.

We're home from the hospital now. One week later. My HELLP disease is gone, but our mourning and grieving is only beginning.

All I ask is that you continue praying for us. We don't need new friends or pity. We need time and Jesus. Reality comes in waves, and we are still living this tragedy and will be for a long long time.

Penelope Rose Stanley
November 26 - November 28, 2012