2 Weeks to Go

Today marks two weeks before the C-Section.

In my head I know he still has plenty of time to arrive before then, but having that deadline makes me anxious. I know it won't be the end of the world if August has to be a C-Section baby, but I would be disappointed. I keep feeling like he's just going to stay in there. I know - every pregnant woman says that. I'm just ready. There's nothing else to prepare. I'm ready to be a mom again, without the marring of grief. I'm ready to take him home and have him meet all of his family. All that's left is the waiting.

...Because Gilmore Girls quotes apply to everything.

At the last doctor visit they checked my fluid levels via ultrasound. It was very brief, so they didn't get a great picture, but here's his last photo op until he makes his debut!

37 weeks and 5 days down...

Back Again

Last night we went on the hospital tour. We'd scheduled one last time we were pregnant, but Penny was born before we could do it.

We got to hear about the check-in procedures, see a birthing room, and the nursery. Some was familiar, some was new. We really just wanted to see the "normal" side of the hospital. We are all too familiar with the NICU and the WICU. 

I've been thinking quite a bit about the last time we stayed at Winnie Palmer. In particular, something my dad said. We were giving our family each a chance to hold Penny and say goodbye before they removed the breathing machines and other cords maintaining her life. When my dad held her, he looked at me with a sad smile and said "Next time you're here, it'll be different."

So here I am, not-so-patiently awaiting August to make his appearance, anxious to see all the differences. This time has already been very different from the last pregnancy. All that's left is the wait. Waiting for labor to start. Waiting to see if we can progress naturally to the end or if we'll end up having to do a c-section anyway. 

One thing we know will be different will be the ride home. This time, there will be three of us in the car. 

35 Weeks

August is 35 weeks along now. 

It's weird to think, since Penny didn't officially make it this far. That's just based on the due date they gave her at an early sonogram, though. We're pretty sure she was much closer to term (I'd been keeping track when we were trying to get pregnant) and their estimate was wrong because she was always so small.

On a brighter note, we have pretty much all of the equipment we'll need for August. Thanks to generous friends and family, we didn't have to break the bank, either. The nursery isn't set up yet, but it's on its way.

I've started to take more time off at work. Last week I trained my replacement, and I think she'll be a great nanny for the boys. Her first day she patiently played five games of chess in a row with the oldest. He was in heaven, because I never learned how to play and he was tired of playing against his brother (who, to be fair, tends to walk away from games when he gets bored). She's patient, and flexible, and experienced, and has no qualms about stepping in to correct behavior gently. Just who we needed! God surely provides. I'll still be working two or three days a week for a while to help transition the boys from seeing me all the time. Besides, I'll miss them too!

One final thing: we have a c-section date. We're still hoping to have a VBAC, but that means the doctors won't induce my labor and they won't let me go too far past my official due date. It gets more risky the larger he grows. So, if he doesn't come before then, he'll arrive the morning of September 2nd. The day after Labor Day. Hmmm...

That's a perfect date in our eyes for two reasons. First, his name and birth month won't match. We love his name, but we do know kids can be cruel about that kind of thing. Second, he'll be the oldest in his school year instead of the youngest. Most school cutoff dates are on September 1st. Being the oldest means he has a whole extra year of life experience before starting school. If he is the youngest in his class (born in August) we're not too worried about him academically, based on my husband's and my own academic performance (she said so humbly). And, even if he is the youngest he probably won't be the shortest thanks to his six-foot-seven daddy. Even so, who wouldn't want to give their son every chance to succeed, even down to their birthdate? 

Five weeks left! 

33 Weeks

Thirty-three and a half weeks down. Forty-five days left. In one and a half months we get to meet our son.

Looking back at this point when I was pregnant with Penny, I didn't know that I was about a week from giving birth. I was worrying, going to many, many doctor appointments, and preparing for the unplanable. I was painting a room she would never come home to, but where all of her things would lie for a year and a half, undisturbed but loved. I was longing for the faith to trust God in all circumstances, like Hannah.

This time is so different. I'm getting bigger with child, not with preeclampsia. August is now about twice the size Penny was when she was born. He's healthy. This pregnancy, so far, has been the normal, blah, vanilla ordeal that I wished for last time. So many blessings!

My only concern is being able to go into labor. We want to have a big family, so if we can avoid multiple C-sections, that would be awesome. Thus, we're on the VBAC track. For my OBGYN, that means they won't induce me. It would be too risky. Not that there aren't risks with VBAC, but if we can have one successful vaginal birth, the benefits greatly outweigh. They'll schedule a C-section date for me, in case I go past my due date, and if that ends up being how August comes into this world, so be it. However, if I hadn't taken the opportunity to try having a more natural birth I would have regretted it. In the end, we'll see what God has planned for us.

In a month and a half we get to meet our son. I can't wait to bring him home!

August Amzi Stanley

We've finally settled on a name!

August Amzi Stanley.

Our son.

After months of thinking, scrolling through lists of names, eliminating, adding, changing our minds... we finally came up with one that stuck. My husband was never in a hurry to nail down his name. He had to keep reminding me that we don't have to decide until we fill out the birth certificate. I was more antsy about it, to say the least. I wanted to call him by his name! But that's one of the situations that works out in our marriage. If I'm getting ahead of myself, he's good at bringing me back to where we are.

We've known for a long time that we like the name Amzi. We got the name from the line of Stanley men my husband had memorized years ago. Its his great great great grandfather's name.

So we needed a first name that went with Amzi. Among other names, we considered Augustine, like the saint. My husband had read City of God a while back, and really enjoyed it. But Augustine seemed too out-of-date for a first name, and I knew I'd shorten it to August anyway. Not Auggie. We know some people who shorten their grandson's name to Auggie, but neither of us care for that. So we pondered some more, but the name August stuck around. He'll most likely be born in the month of August, but I figure that's just a good excuse for his friends to not forget his birthday. After some "beta testing" we made the decision.

Our son's name is August Amzi Stanley.

22 Weeks

Our boy is 22 weeks today!

Earlier this week we had our final (YAY!!) ultrasound at the Maternal-Fetal Care office. We have loved the doctor and sonographers there, but it is wonderful to know that we no longer need the extra care. Everything looks normal, and I love it!

The halfway point - 20 weeks!

He's been kicking daily, though not on a particular schedule. Daddy hasn't been able to catch it at the right time yet, but it's sure strong enough to be felt. As he says, "When my son kicks you, you know it!" I saw my stomach moving last night, which was sure new! Penny was never big enough or strong enough to make herself known like that. It's so reassuring that this child is vital and active. 

Twenty-one and a half weeks here!

Four months to go!

17 Weeks

Baby Boy Stanley is growing! At his ultrasound on Wednesday, he weighed in around 8 ounces, about half a pound.

He didn't pose for a profile shot, but did get a lot of good anatomy information. He has long legs and a big head, like his daddy. He's measuring about four days ahead of his due date, and his head length is even about a week ahead. 

And he's definitely a boy! (Of course he showed this to us and not his face...) 

I love that we're getting so much reassurance that he's growing and healthy. His spina bifida test came back negative this week, too. 

Our last ultrasound with Maternal-Fetal Care is at twenty weeks, to check his heart and other organs when he's about a pound.

Eighteen weeks tomorrow (Saturday)! We're quickly approaching the halfway mark!