Realizations from a New Mom

First Month:

1. Recovering from a C-section is draining. Doing so while also feeding another person is more exhausting than I've ever experienced.

2. He and I need each other. There are times I feel nauseated because I need some skin to skin cuddle time with my little man. 

3. Sleep is a premium. If he sleeps on me I can't sleep for his safety. If he's stirring at all I can't sleep for fear he'll rouse and need comforting or feeding. If he is sleeping soundly, I wake up about half an hour or more before his next feeding, which is a waste of much needed mommy rest.

4. Breastfeeding hurts. For nearly the first week we had latching trouble which caused me a lot of pain every time he ate. It's better now that he's gotten practice eating the right way and I've gotten to know the difference between the feeling of a bad latch and old soreness. 

Second Month:

1. Growth spurts stink. All the great rest everyone was getting goes out the window. He's crabby and eating like mad and waking up every two hours. ...then he grins and it's all worth it.

2. Those grins! The first time I realized he was smiling responsively was amazing. He's a charmer; we'll have to keep an eye on him!

3. Breast milk has some force behind its flow. I need to keep a burp cloth nearby for all the spills we make. 

4. Mothers' love is different from other kinds of love. I always am aware of August, even in the back of my mind. I would face my fears for his benefit. It feels different, like wanting to celebrate his tiny achievements and feeling horrible anytime he's upset. It makes our bond all the more special.

August Amzi Stanley

He has arrived!

Tuesday September 2nd at 9:26am, August was born into this world. 

We woke early that morning, spending our last hours of non-parenthood sleepily preparing for surgery. I'd been hoping but gradually losing hope of going into labor naturally. The Braxton Hicks contractions I'd had throughout pregnancy seemed to be all for naught. Walking into the doors of Winnie Palmer, I'd pretty much accepted that. And it was okay. 

Filled with anxious nerves and epidural medication, I was wheeled into the operating room where I would soon meet my son. It only took a few minutes of tugging before the doctors pulled August from my womb and into the world - all nine pounds nine ounces of him!

Then I understood why we had to have a repeat C-section. How would I have ever been able to deliver a baby that size myself? We would have ended up with another emergency operation, or a ruptured uterine wall, or some other catastrophe. God is good in His planning. 

August is whole, and a great, strong baby. I love this little man! 

Eviction Notice to a Baby

August Amzi Stanley,

It has come to our attention that your nine month lease has come to an end. Thus, you must vacate the womb you have been occupying.

We understand that the space you have been living and growing in has been quite comfortable to you, and you may be sloth to leave it. However, please be reassured that you will be promptly furnished with many accommodations which are currently beyond what you can imagine in your fluid filled world. You will be loved and cared for, and given many opportunities to learn and grow that would be impossible should you remain in your current lodgings. You will get to see the faces of the people who you have been hearing (hereafter referred to as "Mama" and "Daddy"), as well as many others. As you continue to grow, you will experience food, crawling, walking, school, friends, and more. Just you wait. It'll be worth it.

You have until 9am on September 2nd to comply. Should you choose to remain, your eviction will be forcefully and medically necessitated. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Happy birthday.