Thoughts on Body Image

When you get pregnant you are expected to gain weight. 30-40 pounds is what my doctor told me, but gaining a bit more is okay. Forgivable, anyway. I did give birth to a nine pound baby. I'd lost nearly half the weight I'd gained by the time I left the hospital. I have to admit, it was the fastest weight loss plan if ever been on!

However, now it's been two months, and I'm getting anxious to get back to my prepregnancy weight. I have little time for exercise, let alone getting to the gym. I'm starting to take steps in watching what I eat. Because I'm breastfeeding, I can't cut back on calories. I'm still eating for two. But replacing some carbs with veggies and sugar with fruit are reasonable steps I can take for now. 

Why does it matter, though? Health, yes, but there's more to it. I'm concerned about how my clothes fit. I'm worried about the number on the tag of my jeans. I'm aware of the extra pounds on my hips that squeeze over my waistband.

My weight is appropriate. I know this. I tell myself this. My body will return mostly to normal. It still bothers me, though. I feel jealousy towards my friends and the women on blogs I read who only gained 25 pounds during their pregnancy and could fit into their normal jeans two weeks post partum.

Its a shame that society makes women feel like this about their bodies. It's a shame that I allow myself to feel this way about my body. Sometimes it doesn't bother me. Then I pull out a piece of clothing that used to be on the big side for me that is now tight. Sigh. 

It's a tough place to be, but I'm trying to have a healthy attitude about it.

And overall, it's a small price to pay for my healthy, growing, adorable son. 

World Prematurity Day

Today is World Prematurity Day, and I just wanted to take a moment to remember my little preemie.

Penny was born after 34 weeks of pregnancy, officially. My husband and I think she was further along, but mis-aged  because of her size and many other genetic issues. I'd developed HELLP, which meant the baby had to come out immediately. She was so tiny, I knew ahead of time that she would have to be a c-section baby. She lived for three days, and passed away in my arms surrounded by family. 

Today, I want to be thankful for the time I had with my daughter. I want to be thankful for the babies that got to go home and thrive. Especially I want to be thankful for my healthy, full term son, who was a c-section birth because of his little big sister.

Two Months with August

It has been two months since my son was born. How life has changed! I'm always busy with him, even if he's just napping on me after eating. Somehow at the same time I feel like I can never get anything done and more gets done around the house. I am home more now that I'm a SAHM and not a nanny. I need to keep developing balanced routines with him: playing when he's awake, cleaning and organizing while he's asleep, eating when he's entertaining himself. Hopefully we can set aside more time for me to excercise soon!

August is a great sleeper. We moved him into his own room when he was three weeks old. He was waking up both me an my husband with just his sleepy coos and rolls, and I'm sure we were waking him, too. As of now, he usually only gets up twice at night to eat, and wakes up after 6am. He's slept in past 7am before, and those are great mornings. I usually bring him into our bedroom while my husband gets ready for work. August just loves smiling at us in the morning! I'm surprised how well I've adjusted to less sleep! I hardly notice it now.

August is huge! He's all torso; his limbs haven't caught up yet. I guess that's a good thing, or he'd be in six month sizes instead of three month! He is nine weeks old today, and had his well checkup. He didn't like it so much (so many colors in his face - pale white to angry purple), but he really did okay. 

Our boy has the sweetest toothless grin, a head of crazy hair, and loves to kick his feet to bounce in his bouncy seat. The ceiling fan is a great source of entertainment - movement and contrast! He does well at church and restaurants and grocery shopping. He's such a pleasant, easygoing kid! 

I love my little man!