My First 5K

I did it!

I ran my first 5K today. 

I had no expectations of doing very well. Mostly I wanted an excuse to keep myself in shape, and jog three times a week. I'll tell you, pushing a child in a non-jogging stroller about two miles isn't easy. Still, I really enjoyed getting outside, starting my day on a healthy note, and having time to myself.

And do you know what? I actually did really well! I would have been happy to finish under 50 minutes, with my reach goal being under 45 minutes.

I finished in 39 minutes and 46 seconds! I guess not pushing that stroller makes a big difference.

I still don't see myself as a runner. But maybe there will be more 5Ks in the future. 

Running

Here's something I never thought I'd say: I'm training for a 5K.

I've never really liked exercise. I like to be healthy, but up until recently (read: two pregnancies) exercise hasn't been a necessary part of that equation. Now I'm a little older and exercise needs to be a part of my routine.

I've tried going to the gym, but ours has "Kid Kare" fees, and my mom isn't always available to watch August during the day. I lack self motivation. So I gave myself some extra motivation.

I'd been walking with August in the morning fairly regularly. It's nice, spending some technology-free time outside before it gets too hot, just enjoying nature and the sounds of cars passing. Occasionally we stop at our neighborhood park and use the swings for a while.

That's all well and good, but walking simply isn't good enough cardio. So I downloaded a couch to 5K app. It's a simple training program over eight or nine weeks to get me up and running. I shared with my mom and cousin about it, and over the course of the conversation we decided to try to run a local 5K together.

5K is only 3.3 miles, but it's still more than I ever thought I'd run. In grade school I always brought up the rear when the coaches made us "run the mile."

So why the change of heart? Honestly, it's for my family. I want to be healthy, and live a long time for them. I want to be a good example. Whenever I get pregnant again I want to avoid as many health risks as possible. So I'll run now.

Well, jog. Sort of fast walk. It's hot out. I'm working on it. 

Allergy Guilt

Yesterday was going to be fun. We were going to go to play group, and August was going to swim in a pool for the first time in months. We were going to join Cow Appreciation Day at Chick-Fil-A donned in spotted cow t-shirts.

Instead, August had another allergic reaction.

I gave him some scrambled eggs for the first time with breakfast, and he developed a rash on his face within five minutes. I got out the Benedryl right away. I carry it with me everywhere since the first reaction. I struggled to get the dosage right, because I'd rather give him a small dose than an overdose, but who can remember the difference between 1.5 mLs and 2.5 mLs when their kid is turning red and spotted and he's scratching his face and what if his throat starts swelling? I called his doctor, and she told me what to watch for, and that I could give him a slightly bigger dose of medicine. Like the pediatrician told me, I watched him all morning for swelling and difficulty breathing. He fussed because he was itchy and uncomfortable, and took a nap on my chest. We snuggled and watched Cars as the medicine did its job, and he started feeling back to normal.

He's fine, and this just means we need to watch what he eats even more, but I still feel guilt about it. I'm his mother, shouldn't I be able to feed my kid without his body attacking itself? Why would I give him eggs, am I crazy? How could I give him something that makes him feel so badly?

It is a little crazy to feel like that. How could I have known? But I feel that responsibility as his mother. Like I need to protect him perfectly, while still letting him make his own experiences. I feel like my experience as a child caregiver should give me a heads-up, but instead I'm still broken and making mistakes that my child carries the punishment for. That is something I need to repent of.

I need to recognize that my parenting can't save me, and especially can't save my son. This is something I need to surrender to Jesus, even though it's hard. Please pray for me, and for August's health. He's young enough that he may grow out of these food allergies, or we may become a fully nut-free, egg-free household.

I do know that I'll be making his birthday cake myself this year.

Saying No To Pasta

August is four months old now. He's growing, thriving, learning, and loving. It's time for me to start healthier routines.

Right around the new year I made that decision, and I feel better for it. I've been taking August on morning walks, which he often falls asleep during. I've been trying to get out of the house and do things and see people.

One big change is my diet. No, I'm not dieting to loose weight yet, but I am trying to make healthier choices in what I eat. More vegetables, less sugar, even cutting out pasta. No pasta! That's been my staple food since I started cooking for myself! But I've been intentional about it and I've found a lot of healthy foods on Pinterest. Who knew so many tasty meals didn't have pasta? Or even rice or potato as a main ingredient? I'm liking avocado and eggplant and zucchini more and more.

I'm pretty proud of myself. I haven't been overly strict with myself, since I am still breastfeeding and August needs my calories. It's about balance. 

I'm hoping some of these habits will stick around.

Thoughts on Body Image

When you get pregnant you are expected to gain weight. 30-40 pounds is what my doctor told me, but gaining a bit more is okay. Forgivable, anyway. I did give birth to a nine pound baby. I'd lost nearly half the weight I'd gained by the time I left the hospital. I have to admit, it was the fastest weight loss plan if ever been on!

However, now it's been two months, and I'm getting anxious to get back to my prepregnancy weight. I have little time for exercise, let alone getting to the gym. I'm starting to take steps in watching what I eat. Because I'm breastfeeding, I can't cut back on calories. I'm still eating for two. But replacing some carbs with veggies and sugar with fruit are reasonable steps I can take for now. 

Why does it matter, though? Health, yes, but there's more to it. I'm concerned about how my clothes fit. I'm worried about the number on the tag of my jeans. I'm aware of the extra pounds on my hips that squeeze over my waistband.

My weight is appropriate. I know this. I tell myself this. My body will return mostly to normal. It still bothers me, though. I feel jealousy towards my friends and the women on blogs I read who only gained 25 pounds during their pregnancy and could fit into their normal jeans two weeks post partum.

Its a shame that society makes women feel like this about their bodies. It's a shame that I allow myself to feel this way about my body. Sometimes it doesn't bother me. Then I pull out a piece of clothing that used to be on the big side for me that is now tight. Sigh. 

It's a tough place to be, but I'm trying to have a healthy attitude about it.

And overall, it's a small price to pay for my healthy, growing, adorable son. 

Losing the Baby Weight

One of the issues with having a teeny tiny baby in your first pregnancy, at least in my case, is that you try to do the correct thing to a fault. What I mean is, I was trying to gain weight at a normal rate for a baby who wouldn't grow much bigger than 2 pounds. In a normal pregnancy a lot of the baby weight comes off naturally (and hey, you lose about 10 pounds automatically when your child is born). Unfortunately, I discovered that a lot of the weight I'd put on was just weight, not baby weight.

Anyway, six months after the fact, I've finally decided to buckle down and get back to my pre-Penny weight. It's time. Besides, I'd like to have a habit of a healthy diet and an exercise routine before I try to get pregnant again. Maybe the weight won't be too bad to get rid of next time if it's more healthy poundage...

Loving the Zumba classes at LA Fitness!

This got kick-started when my husband came home telling me his work is sponsoring their employees to start a gym and diet program. That was ideal, because we could both do it together. Not that he needed to loose weight; he's mostly doing to diet to support me, and using the gym to build muscle. He has a gym buddy from work, and I have one in my mom. She and I don't always do the same exercises, but we car pool since getting there is the hardest battle. So, exercise - check!

Me, lacking carbs.

Then there's the diet. I've never been on a specific diet before (unless you count the no-money-college-student diet), so it's been difficult. It's mostly a ketosis diet, which means lots of protein and green vegetables. It also means no sugar or carbs. Now, cutting out sugar in itself was easy, I haven't missed that as much as I thought (besides baking. I miss baking cookies and cupcakes and things as a hobby.) But bread, oh, lovely bread! That I miss. And I get grumpy when I miss it. And looking at all those great meals on Pinterest to make don't help either. Anyway, I''m powering through it, mostly...with some cheat meals...but I'm mostly doing well.

The scale says I'm doing well anyway.

I'm hoping to keep up the gym even after my husband's work isn't sponsoring it anymore. As for the diet, well... I'm hoping to keep up the moderation I'm learning. We've eliminated the sugary juice drinks from our fridge, and snacking on more healthy foods. Maybe I'll continue making meals with less emphasis on carbs. In time we'll see. However, my intentions are healthy!