In church yesterday, a high school student shared Romans 5 with us. Romans is probably one of my favorite books in the Bible, and chapter 5 is definitely worth reading during a struggle. What struck me was verse 5.
...Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. (Romans 5:5)
Hope has been difficult for me to really accept in these last few weeks. Every time I think about the future and hope to meet my daughter, I feel shame for expecting the impossible. Every time I think about future pregnancies and hope for a healthy child, I feel shame as if I've already given up on this child.
I don't know what God has in store my my future and Penny's, but I have to trust that it is good, because it is from God.
It's okay for me to hope. God loves me. He loves my family. He won't disappoint. He may not give me the results or answers I want, but I can hope for the very best because He has planned the very best for me.